Scaredy Cat

Hey, hey! Happy August!

You know, lately I have been loving each and every one of you because of your incredible comments. You guys are da shiz. Yeah, I just said da + shiz because saying “the shit” isn’t cool anymore. According to me. I’m loving all the new readers too! Hiya.

I eat a giant piece of cornbread in your honor.

Anyway, I digress.

How come celebrities always look amazing while running?

Instead us normal people look like mental heath patients escaping…

And they look good all the time. What’s up with that?

Normal people like me can’t even match my socks with shoes.

Black socks with blue shoes? Obviously I am a trend setter.

Whatever, whatever. I ain’t no celebrity got nothing on my cat Ralph and I.

Keep Ralph in your thoughts or prayers. (I’m not religious so I hate saying pray for someone.) He’s in the hospital right now. Apparently, he had a temperature of 105 and one degree more and he would have been dead. Not good. Poor Ralphie. I just want his ugly little face back home.

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So, today I had a day off from work. Holla! It was my first day off in over a week. My body is all screwed up. I don’t get to bed until eleven every night since I don’t get home from work until 9:30 or even 10. Then, I wake up between 6:30-7 before I go to work at noon the next day. I’m glad I have a job, but it’s really not part-time. Anyway, I’ll stop complaining.

My whole point of saying I didn’t have to work today was to mention I had an appointment with an Air Force Recruiter where I made the decision to join the Air Force to study my ass off to pass the ASVAB test to actually be able to join. I am qualified to join and I believe I am a great candidate. I can still run, go to school, and all that jazz after my basic training and technical training is finished.

I don’t want to go to college. Period. I would only go to run. In all honesty, I don’t think college would challenge me or even take me out of my comfort zone. It won’t help me gain the confidence I need to move on with life. The Air Force (for basic training) will take me to Texas. That is out of my comfort zone. That is out of the hell hole of Portland where hippies roam the land with mustaches and neck tattoos that say “put a bird on it”.

I’m excited. I want to do it despite how nervous I am. I am so nervous I won’t even make their cross-country team.

There is a catch. After I take the ASVAB text and if I pass it (knock on wood), there is a waiting period before I immediately go into basic training. It’s like 4-6 months. In between time, I don’t know what I’ll do besides work. I was thinking of joining a running team though.

It is all so nerve wrecking. What if I’m not good enough? Strong enough? Fast enough to make the team? Smart enough? What if I don’t make the team?

Screw it. If all else fails, the army isn’t so picky so I’ll just go there. Or be a firefighter. Some how, some way I hope to be content with what I do. 

I feel like a five year old saying this, but I’m scared.

Come on, ASVAB For Dummies, don’t let me down.

I need to pass this. I need to make something of myself. Would you guys like a review?

Just kiddin’.

“We all have dreams. In order to make dreams come into reality, it takes an awful lot of determination, dedication, self-discipline and effort.” – Jesse Owens

Gettin’ Wild

Thank you so much for all your supportive comments on my thoughts about college and the Air Force. All and all, I am really leaning towards the Air Force. As soon as I have a day off from work, I am scheduling an appointment with a recruiter. Just like I think the Air Force isn’t for everyone, I don’t think college is for everyone either.

Let’s get down to business.

Yesterday was my second half marathon, but my first half marathon for a trail race. It was the Wildwood Trail Run. It was actually the same course as the Forest Park 20k I did so I was familiar with the path.

Since I knew it was the same course, I gave myself a goal of beating my previous time. My previous time was 1:36:41. In this case, the seconds matter because I PR by 18 seconds. I was rather disappointed that I didn’t at least do a minute better, but I realized that I started off way too fast. I was so wrapped up in the competition aspect that I didn’t even enjoy my surroundings. I was also so focused on pushing through my soreness from lifting weights the other day that I was afraid to slow down. I just kept pushing it. I felt super fast, but I don’t think I was going that quickly as I felt. It’s funny how that works.

Whatever, whatever.

My final time was 1:36:23.

I came in second place out of 167 people.

I was first in my age group and first woman.

Of course, I’m pleased with my results. Second place isn’t terrible even if it was out of 167 people. It was just one of those races that I wasn’t entirely pumped up for. I listened to some music before hand to get my fired up, but I was just so focused on picking people out from the crowd and telling myself I would beat them.

In actuality, I was a mixed bag of emotions Saturday morning. I was panicky, thrilled, and apprehensive all at once.

               

In the end though, I got my medal and I did set a new record for women on the course for the half marathon. Holla at your girl.

Just adding it to my collection.

That wasn’t a boast or anything.

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My appetite is slowly coming back. I somewhat did an experiment that Racing Weight recommended, which I will have a review of soon. In the past two days, I have been starving constantly hence eating sweet onion rings from Burgerville at ten at night. 

Have I stepped on the scale? Yeah…

I’m just telling myself it’s muscle. I mean, it really should be. My pants fit the same.

Who cares? I shouldn’t.

Whatever. Moving on to my new obsession:
So good and it says it helps skin, nails, and hair. I need that. Desperately.

In other news, here’s my week in review first starting with eats:

 Tamales w/ eggplant (good mix I know)
Dinner @ work. Tofu + snap peas + swiss chard + tuna casserole

Dinner @ work again. Tuna + asparagus + rice + potato ball of cheese

Workout review of 25th – 31st:

Monday: 10.01 miles @ 6:42 average pace (hills)
Tuesday: 9.06 miles @ 6:53 average pace
Wednesday: 7.46 miles @ 7:03 average pace (easy run)
Thursday: 10.21 miles @ 6:49 average pace (longer than expected. I got lost.)
Friday: Easy day of upper body weights
Saturday: Race! 13.1 miles @ 6:59 average pace
Sunday: Weights and spin class

Total Mileage: 49.93

I failed at upping my mileage once again. I just want to be in the 50‘s. I’m almost there. I either need to get speedier or go longer. I’ll aim for both.

Enjoy August!

By the way, just out of curiosity, how many of you would enjoy book reviews on normal books? By normal books I mean books not associated with running.

“Second place is not a defeat. It is a stimulation to get better. It makes you even more determined.” - Carlos Lopes

Rethinking

Holla amigos! 

I left you guys with a cliff hanger yesterday, didn’t I? I watch too many soap operas so I must say I am a pro.

Well, let’s begin with Tuesday. I had a bit of breakdown before work and I started yelling anything and everything. What came out was, “I don’t want to go to Portland State. I hate Portland. Blah blah blah. College… yada yada…” You get my point. I came home that night and my mom and I had a talk.

I have always been fascinated by military life. In high school, I seriously considered joining the army. However, I went to college preparatory school where the army seemed to look down upon. College was the focus and women need an education, not the army. I have a great amount of respect for anyone in the military though. I want to be respected like that. Many times people have told me how I am not good enough, not strong enough, and not fast enough. Due to that, I have zero self-confidence.

I am now seriously thinking of joining the Air Force. I want to show others that college isn’t everything. You don’t have to go to college to gain independence. The Air Force will offer me confidence, discipline, and the skills I need to succeed that I feel like college will not give me. After orientation at Portland State the other week, I felt like I was going to loathe it. I didn’t like the people nor did I like the classes that I had to take. I didn’t think I would fit in. With the Air Force, I just might fit in. I just might show others how tough I am. I’m not just a tiny woman who is shy and quiet.

I was thinking of the Marines too, but I like the lifestyle of the Air Force a lot more. I watched the videos online and the Air Force really appealed to me.  Besides, I get run in the Air Force. I can still run cross-country, which is majorly important to me. Whatever I do, wherever I go, I do want to run.

Of course I’m nervous. What if they don’t take me? What if I’m too small? What if I’m not strong enough? Can I still be a vegetarian? Silly questions, I know.

However, I am seriously considering the Air Force. As soon as I have a day off from work (HA, fat chance), I am going to speak to a recruiter.

All I know is that college is not appealing to me currently. Oregon itself is not appealing to me. It never was. I moved to Oregon about six years ago because my brother wanted to. Yes, my brother told me parents he wanted to move so we did.

With all of this, my mom is supporting me… somewhat. She understands how badly I want to run at a professional level. She also would be so proud of me for going into the military. She told me she would be more proud if I went into the military than college because everyone goes to college now. She is just nervous if they don’t take me, then what? Will I end up like my brother who works nonstop because he didn’t go to college? Nonetheless, my mom said she would allow me six months to re-think what I want to do with my life if I decide to not go to college.

Let’s just hope they take me because I think I would actually fit in.

I just have a lot to think about. 

I feel like I still need to talk it over with someone. Someone who too is considering the military or someone who has been in the Air Force. I have watched the videos on the Air Force’s website, but all the videos just have men in them. How can I relate?

In other news, tomorrow is the Wildwood Trail Run. It’s another half marathon. I am thinking of it as another normal run and not a race because I won’t get home until 9:30 tonight due to work then I bet I won’t go to bed until 11 since I’ll just be awake. Ahhh!

Better get my ass in gear now though. I’ll be back to regular posting soon. Until then, have a good weekend!

Wish me luck!

“Anybody can do just about anything with himself that he really wants to and makes his mind to do. We are capable of greater than we realize.”

- Norman Vincent Peale

Q&A:

• What are your views on the military?
• Ever had to really re-think your life?