Friends Gotta Give

31 Jul

Something has been bothering me lately. By lately, I mean in the past two days. And by bothering, I mean what’s new? Isn’t something always bothering me?


Someone asked me if I had any friends, and that exercise equipment doesn’t count. 

I really wish I had a reason as to why that bothered me so much. It really hit me because I have been thinking about it for a day now.

In high school, I didn’t have that many friends. I like being by myself. Junior year I met some of my best friends, but they were a year older than me so that meant they graduated before I did. Senior year I was rather friendless despite being on the cross-country team. I ate lunch by myself and I didn’t mind. I would go to the gym by myself and then go home to my mom, my true friend. Even after high school, I didn’t have too many friends. I ran, worked, and stayed at home. That’s just the type of person I am. I have no problem being by myself .

Truth is, I know I isolate myself from people. I put my workout first then hang out with people. Am I wrong? No. I like working out. I like running. Running makes me happy so I’m going to do that first. Besides, running is the one thing you can do by yourself and be with your mind. I love that. I love thinking about everything, anything, and sometimes nothing. Sometimes  I think about conversations I want to have with people, but never do. Sometimes I think about garlic bread or how much I was cheese sticks.

On the other hand, I have friends now. I don’t have any girl friends per se, but all my friends are guys. I like it. I met some awesome people here in Japan that I share the same interest with (excluding working out). It gets tough sometimes when I would like to talk about certain things like feelings (ewww) and I’m just surrounded by guys. But that’s why I work out. Does that make me a loner or a weird person? Maybe. Maybe I am socially awkward (I was called that too).

I don’t think there is anything wrong with having a few friends. I also don’t think there is anything wrong with wanting to be by yourself. Learning to like your own company, the silence, and being by yourself is a positive thing. Of course there is a line where being by yourself too much is a problem. Perhaps people see me like that.

Yet, why don’t people say anything about Olympic athletes or elite runners? They put their workout first all the time. Their career, their life is their sport. I’ll be the crazy one and say running is my life. Why can’t I just run without someone commenting about how much I workout, how I only eat salads, and how I have no friends? No one says anything about professional athletes. They give up so much – IE friends – to be amazing. What’s wrong with that? Nothing. I would do that any day of the week. Running is never going to stab me in the back. It may give me a stress fracture, but that’s my own dam fault.

I really don’t see the problem with putting friends second. Yes, being around others is great, but I’m shy. I am strange. I am the biggest goof ball around. I get social anxiety. So what? I don’t care about partying or going out drinking. I like being at the gym or watching 30 Rock in my room. I enjoy that. I love reading. I’m a nerd.

Obviously,as you can tell, the comment about having no friends bothered me. I don’t like to think that I am a huge loner, although I come across that way. I turn down more requests to go ‘party’ and drink than turning down a cookie.

This reminds me of the video hungryrunnergirl posted…

Check it out. So amazing. I want this to be my life. Call my crazy.

Anyway, that is what grins my gears.

And this is what I have been noshing on…


To be the best, there are sacrifices.


8 Responses to “Friends Gotta Give”

  1. Christie July 31, 2012 at 5:05 AM #

    we have so much in common. every time you post it is something i would write. btw – read ‘Party of one, the loners’ manifest.

  2. HollieisFueledByLOLZ July 31, 2012 at 5:22 AM #

    I agree about that. It bothers me to no end that people will constantly judge if we put workouts first. Most people put getting drunk in college first…that just isn’t our style.

  3. Erin July 31, 2012 at 6:06 AM #

    First off I just wanted to say that I LOVE this post. I’m a lot like you – I actually enjoy being by myself. Not 24/7 of course, but most of the time.

    I’m reading Kara Goucher’s book on running for women right now, and during one chapter she talks about the importance of balancing your life. She said that even she doesn’t consider herself a “runner,” but rather someone who runs. She says that if you put 100% of yourself into running, you won’t be as successful or have as long of a career as someone who tries to balance his or her life. And Kara’s coach talks about her a little, saying how family is the most important thing in the world to her and running comes after that.

    So while I do prefer being alone, and I relate to everything you say… I think her book has some sense in it. Though I agree wholeheartedly with Hollie in the comment above me – other people seem to look down on healthy habits for some reason.

    And one other thing, based on what you said the other day about being criticized for eating a cookie after a salad. I hate how people label food as “unhealthy.” Seriously, if you’re at a healthy weight and eat enough fruits and vegetables and protein a day, why is eating something that’s not a fruit-veg-protein unhealthy? Unless you have an allergy, the food is spoiled, or it has weird chemicals or something, a food doesn’t need to be inherently “unhealthy.”

  4. runservecook July 31, 2012 at 7:41 AM #

    I agree with some of this but you do need some social life ,without it you cant be truly happy i think. I do think making workouts important are okay but not the most important unless your truly olympic quality which by the way they dont just eat salads they have 6000+ calories a day!

  5. Goober Nut's Life July 31, 2012 at 10:30 AM #

    It’s okay to want to be by yourself more than with friends.
    Remember what you told me when I was feeling really down on myself? 🙂
    And don’t mind the comment that the person made. Have you ever heard the saying, “Obsessed is what the lazy call the dedicated..” ? 😀

  6. Tara July 31, 2012 at 2:45 PM #

    I completely know what you mean. Though I’m a very social person, my desire to be an amazing runner made me put workouts over friends. I was happy. Well until I got hurt, which made me realize I had completely lost touch with myself. So now that I’m on the opposite end (super social but out of shape) I want to get back into shape and get more of a balance. Everyone has there own perfect balance though so it irks me that people feel the need to judge that.

    • lifttorun July 31, 2012 at 2:55 PM #

      I bet you aren’t even out of shape.


  1. Another 21 Days « lifttorun - August 1, 2012

    […] you for all the comments on my last post. I really do appreciate everyone’s comment and opinion. This is America. Say what you want […]

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